Life in GeneralPosted by kopek-publishing.com Sun, May 10, 2009 11:18:11Thanks to Luscious Laura for reminding me to keep this up to date. It's not that I care if any saddos read it, it's just that it helps keep my blood pressure down by allowing me to have a good rant.
Spammers! What is it about these fuckwits that they think you're going to allow a comment that says
"Great blog, love it, by the way, do you want a bigger penis?"
Really, What are they thinking of. What the hell would I do with another penis any way? Let's face it, one is enough for any bloke, we get into enough trouble as it is. Could you imagine the decisions we blokes would make if we had two!
On my genealogy site forum (http://www.the-e-site.com), I've had to turn on the option to aprrove all new accounts. This is in big letters across the site for any people who want to join. I must admit, it can be amusing to see the usernames some of these dicks use: Viagra Sales (I wonder if that's Mr. or Mrs.?), Cheap Drugs, Buy Drugs, Large Penis, Bigger Boobs. Bloody stupid if you ask me, I know you're not, but I don't care. You're reading this, so you're going to get my opinion any way. So Mrs. Boobs, or should I call you Bigger?
Last month one of the little shits posted over 400 messages on the forum, all exactly the same, and with fairly explicit photos. It took me forever to go through each section and delete them. But honestly, I just don't see the point, 99.999% of people must either delete these posts/emails, or their spam filters catch them. I just can't see that the effort justifies the return. Personally, I think they should be strung up by their knackers from the nearest lampost.
Life in GeneralPosted by kopek-publishing.com Sun, March 15, 2009 09:01:37You can't live with them, but you most certainly can't live without them these days, at least I can't. My computer decided to give up th ghost last week. It's not until you lose them, that you actually realise just how much you depend on them.
No email, no browsing, I felt like a smack addict suffering from withdrawal. It's taken me pretty much all week to rebuild, and restore all my mail & bookmarks.
I must admit to being a Microsoft hater, I think Bill Gates is the spawn of the devil, and I refuse to use any of his products, unless I can't find anything that's as good. Unfortunately that still leaves me with Windows, and Office. I use Firefox for browsing, and I used to use Thunderbird for my mail, but due to comaptibility between synchiung my devices, I had to move back to Outlook. I lso used to use Lotus Smartsuite, but due to lack of development it meant that Office soon overtook it in terms of features and useability.
Oh well, now at least I can get my daily fix, and I suppose I'll get around to posting another update on here when I can be arsed.
Life in GeneralPosted by kopek-publishing.com Mon, March 02, 2009 15:59:23I recently received a letter with an offer of a position, and I'm thinking of taking it up. Now I've got a fair bit of experience in a lot of things, but this seems right down my street. It wouldn't suit everyone, and the requirements are quite stringent:
- Good personal skills
- Good communication skills
- Good presentation skills
- A bit of a thick skin
- Experience within the licensing trade - essential
- Initial excellence at chosen career - essential not doing this now
If I show you the letter, then you might see how good a match it is for me:
The Reverend Harold J Knight
The Rescue Mission
182 Elliot Street
London
SW1A 4AA
Dear Friend
Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause of temperance. Each year for the past fourteen I have made a tour of Scotland and the North of England, including Manchester, Liverpool, and Glasgow, and have delivered a series of lectures on the evil of drinking. On this tour I have been accompanied by a true friend and assistant, Norman Powell. Norman, a man of good family and excellent background, is a pathetic example of a potentially brilliant life ruined by excessive indulgence in the demon drink.
Norman would appear beside me at the lectures and sit on the platform, wheezing and staring manically at the audience through bleary, bloodshot eyes. He would shake and sweat profusely, pick his nose, break wind, and make obscene gestures to the audience, while I would point him out as an example of what drinking and vice can do to a person.
Over the Christmas period, unfortunately Norman died. A mutual friend has given me your name and I wonder if you would care to take Normans place on my next tour?
Yours in the Faith
The Reverend H J Knight
Rescue Mission
What do you think? Could I be the perfect candidate? I'd like to thank the person that passed on my details.
Life in GeneralPosted by kopek-publishing.com Tue, February 17, 2009 18:31:50What a miserable year I'm having so far. It's not even the
end of February, and I've been ill three times. I spent New Years Eve in bed
with a man cold, dropped off at about 10:30, only to be woken by the wife
shouting "Happy New Year." I think my reply of "bugger off"
may have dampened her mood slightly, but I wouldn't know as I went straight
back to sleep.
Later on in January, I was in London
doing a course for work. I went to Pizza Express one night, as I fancied
something different. The next day I could hardly remove myself from the toilet.
Huey and me were on very intimate terms by the next day, that, and it felt like
the world had fallen out of my arse.
This last week I've caught another cold from some inconsiderate bastard of a
work colleague. I do wish people wouldn't insist on playing the martyr when
they've got a cold. It doesn't seem to occur to them that no one really
appreciates them dragging themselves into work, just so they can spread their
horrible germs to all and sundry. I wouldn't mind, but when they do come in
it's not worth asking them to do anything because it takes them twice as long
as it should, as they feel so ill. Snivelling little toads, why they don’t just
stay at home and save us all a lot of trouble is beyond me.
I was really wound up this week watching the adverts on TV.
What is it about the sudden rash of adverts for making your face look like a
twenty year olds? What really gets me is that the models they use for those
anti-wrinkle ads are all about twenty anyway. Of course they don’t have any wrinkles;
they’ve had an easy life so far, probably not done a single day’s proper graft
in their lives. Then there’s the ones that say 80% prefer it. Do they ever tell
you what they prefer it to? No! It could be slapping a cowpat on their faces
for all we know. It does make me wonder about the other 20% though; they must
be fairly sick puppies. It’s like that ad for the cat food, you know the one. “Nine
out of ten cats prefer it.” A kick up the arse? Yes, I can understand that, I
think I’d prefer to eat cat food than get a kick up the arse. If it’s not that,
then when you read the small print at the bottom of the screen, you know the
stuff, it’s written in tiny little writing, and you find the survey is of about
20 people. Twenty people? That’s not a survey, at least not one that’s worthwhile.
There’s some mathematical formula for working out how many people make a
worthwhile sample, I can’t remember it off-hand, but I’m bloody sure it’s more
than 20. It’s like watching a street corner and seeing a dog walk past with a
hat on, then seeing another one, and then concluding that all dogs wear hats,
at least the ones that walk round that corner.
Life in GeneralPosted by kopek-publishing.com Thu, February 12, 2009 17:13:05Well, it's Wednesday afternoon, and I have a day off work. Guess how I spent my morning? In bed with a migraine. Isn't that bloody typical. I finally get a couple of days off work, and I have to spend half of one in bed, and alone at that.
This is my first post on this blog, and do you know what's depressing, not the fact that hardly anyone will bother to read it, but it won't change a damn thing. Whilst blogs are quite therapeutic in the main, as in they allow you to get a good rant off your chest, there's not many that actually change anything. Who do we bloggers think we are eh? Are we actually doing any good? Who knows, and who cares! This blog might make you angry, it might make you sad, it might even make you laugh, but will it make you do anything about the state of things, probably not.
I'll tell you what else depresses me, although depress may be a little strong, hacks me off would probably be more accurate. That's how things change as you get older. I'm now in my mid 40s, and I hate change, I want things back like they were when I was younger. Even simple stuff like food changes, they keep messing with it. Why is it, when you find something you like, they then go and bring out a "New Improved" version. I don't want a new improved version, I want the old one, that's the one I liked, and that's the one I want. But no, they just can't keep from messing with stuff. One thing I can't abide is vegetable, I mean, what's the point. Lettuce! I can't think of a more pointless food, and I use that word in it's loosest terms. It doesn't taste of anything, it's mainly made of water. The best thing it does is make the rest of the sandwich slightly soggy. And what is it about onions? Why do people persist in putting them in everything. Whilst I don't like any vegetable, onions are one of the few that actually make me physically throw up. Have you any idea how difficult it is to get a simple cheese sandwich without onions in it? And the worst thing is, they hardly ever bother to tell you that it's got them in. It's as though people can't imagine that someone doesn't like them. And don't get me started on tomatoes, it's just as bad with them.
To be honest, I think I would be a good candidate for Grumpy Old Men, that program on TV. Most people I know find it hilarious, I just find myself nodding sagely at the TV whenever they screen it. I think most people laugh because they recognise a kernel of truth in the program, that they can associate with. If this is the case, then perhaps one of the political parties should use the scripts as their manifestos, that would make them popular.
Going back to food and change, do you remember when they first brought out Mars Bars? Weren't they fabulous, they seemed enormous, and cost about 25p. Then, slowly but surely, the started to shrink in size, but after a few years they brought out a King Size version. I'll bet anything, that that king size version was not far off the size of the original one, but it cost about four times the price. Don't get me started on crisps, what the fuck has happened to them? I bought a pck the other day, and I swear there was only 25 crisps in it. A packet of crisps used to be enough for lunch, you could share a bag around with your mates and still have more left than is in a whole packet left these days. I feel sorry for the kids of today, actually I don't, I hate the little buggers, but for the sake of my point... They just don't have sweets like they used to, they all seem to taste the same, and they all cost a fortune, and last about two seconds. Mind you, I rediscovered Black Jacks last week, and they taste just like they used to. But I'm sure that even these have shrunk, bastards.
